9thof9 (9thof9) wrote,

It's been forever and I'm truely sorry.

To everyone on LJ that, especially those that considered me a friend, I'm sorry I just disappeared. I honestly am and do feel bad about it. Please let me explain.

I joined LJ as an escape from my real life. I was miserable and needed to go some place that didn't have the stuff I was dealing with all the time. I'm sure some of you can understand completely. It got to the point where my life consisted of the misery, TV (especially Supernatural) and LJ. I was very unhappy and you all made it possible to survive one of the darkest points in my life.

No, I never troubled any of you with what I was going through because that would have brought it into this world and I did not want that. You were my salvation and I wasn't going to taint that. Please know I value each and every one of you. Thank you for sharing this world with me and helping keep me alive and functioning.

In a few days, I'm going to cancel my LJ. I may look in on y'all from time to time and I will comment and leave my name so you know it's me.

Some of you may find this funny, others shocking. There is life beyond Supernatural. No, its not blasphemy. It's honesty. If you told me that in August 2009 I would have been irritated. Supernatural and LJ was my life.

It's kind of sad now that I think about it. Not that I'm putting anyone down that this is all they have. On the contrary, I hope this is what you need while you need it and that eventually you regain control, or whatever and get back to living a life outside of a TV show and LJ. It's possible I did it.

To share just a tiny bit; I met and follow and small local band and have made more friends than I ever thought possible. It's more than I ever figured I'd do in my entire life.

Don't get me wrong, I still watch Supernatural. I'm going to see it through until the end (no matter how weird it's gotten). I just want you all to know no TV show now matter how awesome it started is a replacement for living.

So here something to think about; when you feel you can, turn off your TV and computer and take a chance. Go out and find a place that has live music and people. I don't remember what the old saying is about music soothing the beast and/soul but it's true. I'm finally at peace and my wish for you is that you may find peace in your lives.


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